Why Self Deprecation?

If you’re looking for answers as to why we turn to self deprecation this is not the post for you. These are my thoughts on it.

We cheer each other on.

We try to do our best.

We all see it all the time. Whether it’s with our friends via social media or in real life.

And as ashamed as I am to admit it, I do it as well. Way too much.

Self deprecation is our own worst enemy. We’re already so critical of ourselves and yet these types of thoughts make it even worse.

So, why do we feel the need to belittle ourselves?

Are we searching for compliments from others?

Personally, I’m saying the way I feel or the way I feel people see me. It seems like it’s a great way to talk ourselves down just incase we fail at something or are worried others may be judging us. For instance, just the other day I was a friend’s house and I said, “Well, I’m going to do a plank. It’s probably not going to last long, but I’m gonna do it.”

Why did I need to throw the last part in there?

The same reason I hear people say things like “Don’t look at my arms, my hair, my teeth, my eyes, etc” People are so quick to find the negatives in themselves and then call them out to others about themselves.

I could have just said, “I’m gonna do my plank” and been done with it. No one in that house would have been timing me. And heck, no one would have even noticed I was doing a plank because yes, it’s a normal occurrence for us to just do them whenever we can.

We don’t want others to talk bad about us or down to us, so why do we do it to ourselves?

I’ve got to make sure that I push negative thoughts out of my head. When I feel a thought creeping in, I’ve gotta shut it down and be done with it. (Easier said than done, but I need to realize when I’m doing it.)

Want to take that challenge with me? Have any tips for getting rid of negative thoughts?


7 thoughts on “Why Self Deprecation?

  1. I think that sometimes when I do the self deprecation thing it is for one of two reasons. If, to someone else (and maybe even to myself), I want to show that I know that I’m – for example – not very good at doing a plank by mentioning it first. If I mention it first, then maybe no one else will say or anything or will make fun of me or be critical (even if it is someone who would never do it). Second, if I do that, I take the sting out of it a bit, perhaps, if I set my expectations low. So, if I express doubt about doing my plank and I can’t complete it properly, then I’m not as disappointed. And, if I do it well, then I can be excited that I exceeded expectations. I’m not saying this thinking is actual rational….

    • I 100% can see what you mean by both of those and that’s what I feel like is the main reasons for why we do it. I just really wish I could flip the switch and stop doing it (and others as well.) It just wastes too much time and energy to bring yourself down *just* incase we don’t hit our expectations.

  2. Something to remember that I have been reminding myself of lately is that when we do catch ourselves in a negative way of thinking is to not be hard on ourselves. Judging ourselves or making ourselves wrong for being negative doesn’t work either. The best thing I’ve found to do at this point is to just take notice, give yourself loving thoughts, and let it go. Then put your focus on what you are grateful for. Works for me every time! Great post lady, keep up the great writing!

  3. I really like Elyssa’s comment above. I think when we recognize that we’re being self-deprecating, not only should we NOT get upset with ourselves for doing it (because that just creates a vicious downwards spiral), but I think we should also rejoice in the fact that we even recognize that we’re doing it in the first place. You can’t change what you don’t even realize is happening, ya know? So I think seeing it and catching it is the best first step! And, of course, continually reminding yourself that you wouldn’t treat your friend that way. You should be your own best friend, not your own worst enemy! 🙂

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