Most of my depression from a few months ago stemmed from me comparing myself to everyone. I was seeing the good in everyone else (looks, jobs, attitude, friends, etc) and tearing myself apart into the smallest pieces I could.
The day before my 30th birthday, I decided that I would post one day a day for 30 days.
They weren’t going to be just any photos… I was going to feature one body part a day and learn to love it.
I was ripping each and every body part to pieces in my head and I needed to change that.
It took a lot out of me to find different body parts and to actually post some of the photos. (Who wants to post a picture of their butt *in shorts* on Instagram? I mean, really?!)
The impact that those 30 days had on me was HUGE.
While I am not saying I never have bad thoughts toward myself/about my body now, I will say that they seem to be not happening as much.
And for that, I’m happy to report that I’m learning to love myself!
Here are my Instagram photos from June 28, 2015 to July 27, 2015.
Day 1: Hair.
Today is my 30th birthday, which means it’s time for #30daybodylove! Today is all about my hair. I normally wake up with crazy hair, which means that I got my sleep, so yay! And as much as I used to want straight hair all the time, I love my curly hair because really…it does what it wants!
Day 2: Hands.
My hands can push a lawnmower around to cut the grass AND give kitty scratches. Pretty good day for hands.
Day 3: Hips.
My hips allow me to walk, stand, and sit and maybe someday (no time soon!) they’ll help me carry a child.
Day 4: Cheeks.
My cheeks are the giveaway for when I am really happy.
Day 5: Skin.
My skin and I have always seemed to have had a love-hate relationship. I had really bad acne growing up and was very self conscious about it. But now when a couple spots show up on my face, I tend to let them do what they’re gonna do and move on. My skin is here to protect me from everyday happenings and if it needs to clean itself, so be it.
Day 6: Feet.
Feet get me everywhere I need to go. No matter what shoes, with or without socks, they are there to get me from Point A to Point B (and sometimes from Point A to Point ‘Where the hell am I?’)
Day 7: Stomach.
Stomach…one of the parts of my body that I use to hide the most. I usually tend to wear looser shirts so that attention doesn’t get drawn to my stomach area. Thankfully, now, I’m starting to feel a bit better about wearing not as baggy clothes all the time!
Day 8: Fingers.
The limb extension to hands… My fingers allow me to write and write and write. They also help me when it comes to doing my (typing) job. And my favorite of all: clicking the shutter release to take photos. 📷
Day 9: Knees.
Knees do so much for us – let us stand, sit, kneel, walk.
Day 10: Arms.
Arms day! I am thankful I have arms because I love to hug!
Day 11: Thighs.
Thigh gap or not…thighs are the trunks to our trees! They keep me upright and they are apparently comfortable enough for a cat to use as a pillow 😉
Day 12: Chest.
Something I’ve never been comfortable showing in any clothes/swimsuits is my chest. I’ve been trying to remember that all girls have them and that I don’t *have* to wear turtlenecks all the time 😁
Day 13: Ankles.
Thank you ankles for allowing me to move my feet into weird positions so I am sit in the car for hours upon hours. And look who can’t match their socks 😏
Day 14: Ears.
I can hear Jeff say all of his crazy things, I can wear LEGO earrings, and listen to all of the weird things people say during reality TV interviews in my transcription work.
Day 15: Eyebrows.
My eyebrows show all kinds of emotions. Yeah, I tame them every once in a while, but they are what they are 😁
Day 16: Shoulders.
Shoulders let me carry around all my random bags and my camera. They also carry around a lot of weight from all of my worries and fears, which I am slowly letting go of. And they help keep me safe in the car, along with my seatbelt. 🚙
Day 17: Smile.
When I asked Jeff to take a picture of my Upper Playground shirt (which I haven’t worn in years!), he out of nowhere said “I love your smile.” It may sound like an ego thing, but this is the one thing people normally seem to say to me. It used to make me feel slightly awkward, but now I try to embrace it and smile even bigger! 😁
Day 18: Butt.
As much as I don’t want to post a picture of the back of my shorts… Our butts do a lot for us! Walking stairs? Thanks, buttock! Need to get your hips and thighs moving? Thanks, gluteus maximus, gluteus medius, and gluteus minimus!
Day 19: Nose.
I can smell…well, everything!
Day 20: Elbow.
What a strangely underrated part of the body. I’m thankful I can swing my lower arm freely and all the writing and typing it helps me do.
Day 21: Neck.
My neck keeps my head on my shoulders.
Sometimes my head is a bit crooked and I don’t feel so well, but lately, my head has been keeping me in a somewhat good place…so thanks, neck! (Also, LEGO earrings!) And I’m thankful my neck carries around some awesome necklaces every once in a while.
Day 22: Nails.
I may not keep them painted as often as I’d like, however my fingernails help me scratch when I get a bug bite (which I did last night…in the middle of my forehead!)
Day 23: Eyes.
Thanks to the help of my glasses, my eyes are able to see the world clearer. I’m able to watch concerts, TV shows, and Jeff dance around. (I tried to take a picture with Emma today and she kept looking away…after a series of photos, we landed on this one.)
Day 24: Upper arms.
Sometimes I cover them up if I’m feeling self conscious, but lately…I wear tank tops if I want or I’ll wear sleeves because I do want I want 😁
Day 25: Shins.
I’ve always been very self conscious about my legs, but you know what? As long as they get me to where I need to go and I can avoid shin splints, my legs and shins are quite alright ☺️
Day 26: Lips.
I’ve very rarely used products on my lips for one reason or another (I get a weird film on my lips/I don’t think lipstick/color looks right on me/I use lip balm and 10 seconds later it comes off) … But recently I’ve been taking better care of them – using a lip scrub and sometimes lip balm, when I think about it.
Day 27: Toes.
Feet in general are a weird thing to me, but toes help us keep our balance and for that, I am thankful because I can be clumsy enough as it is.
Day 28: Wrists.
My wrists allow me to type for my job and complete word searches. And Kentucky puzzle for Jeff’s birthday 😁
Day 29: Calves.
I’m very self conscious about the size of my calves. I heard a friend talk about someone else’s calves a long time ago and for some reason, ever since then, I’ve been worried about the size of mine. Here’s to not giving a crap about what size they are because they allow me to walk about beautiful places and take pictures and have an amazing evening with Jeff. (Side note: it’s really hard to take a picture of your own calves.)
Day 30: Organs.
For day 30, I want to thank all of my insides (bones, organs, blood, veins, all of it.) While I’m working to love my outside, I am also working on getting us all in check. Healthy foods, exercising, meditation…I will learn to treat myself as we all deserve to be treated, which is with love and respect.
If you made it this far, THANK YOU! 🙂
I hope you’ve realized that you should love your body no matter what!